Tag Archives: humour

Flatcap’s New Year Philosophy

It’s January 2nd and ever since New Year’s Day became a public holiday (yes I do remember a time when it wasn’t) I’ve always regarded this as the official start of the New Year. January 1st is always taken up … Continue reading

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Christmas Crap

A friend sent me this, another idiot survey on Facebook. For the benefit of those who don’t subscribe to Facebook, I reprint my response here. 1:  The best Christmas present you ever received was? The 1974 blackout. The electric board … Continue reading

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The 6th House & Pit Boots

According to my horoscope, I’m up for a busy day with the moon moving through my 6th house. According to me, that 6th house was on Throstle Grove and it was pulled down years ago, so I don’t see how … Continue reading

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Merry Bloody Christmas

Christmas is coming and me dad’s run outta fags Please put a tenner in me mam’s handbag If you haven’t got a tenner, a fiver will do If you haven’t got a fiver, your window’s going through Did I happen … Continue reading

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Real Men, Tune Into This

I’ve just read on AOL from Asylum about the five things real men should never say. Now I need this kind of guidance because I’m a real man. How do I know? I checked the necessary equipment and I am … Continue reading

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A Mother’s Christmas Apology

A mother’s heart rending plea to her son for understanding. Deer sun Just a shaught noat to teel yu wy we carnt by yo nuffin for krismuss. Yesta day I cent yore dad to the supmar … supa ma … … Continue reading

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Writelinkers Christmas Edition Is Out

I was asked if I wouldn’t mind giving a bit of a plug to Writelinkers Christmas ezine. Course, they never offered to pay me for doing it. “See, Flatcap,” they said to me, “That interview you did is in this … Continue reading

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Pill Popping

Pill Popping I’m a child of the fifties, a teen of the sixties. During 1967, the summer of love, I was far out man, delving into flower power and alternative music, tuning in, turning on, dropping off … to sleep … Continue reading

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Radio Cures

According to the fount of all knowledge, aka the BBC, short blasts of radio waves targeting the kidneys can cure high blood pressure. Really? I have high blood pressure and I take three pills a day to keep it under … Continue reading

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Aliens Amongst Us

It seems as how scientists have discovered a planet that doesn’t belong to our galaxy. Apparently, HIP13044 has a Jupiter like planet circling every 16 days. The star belonged to a dwarf galaxy until 6 or 9 billion years ago. … Continue reading

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