Author Archives: Flatcap

About Flatcap

Flatcap is in residence, tucked away in his corner of the public bar, where for the price of a brace of brown ales, he will treat you to his world-weary opinions on any and every subject you can think of and a good many you can't.

The Mystery of the Missing Fuselage

Here’s a little tale I picked up on the Beeb. People have been nicking stuff from the MOD to the value of about £700,000 last year. It’s pin money at the size of the MOD budget, but what intrigued me … Continue reading

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Well Meant but… Pass

I’ve just read this piece on the web of things you should avoid during sex. I was looking for “the wife” somewhere on the list, but it’s not there. Amongst the obvious ones like farting or comparing the size of … Continue reading

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Vinny’s Verdict (#fridayflash)

Old Vinny was very deaf. It came from years of work in the cotton mills when the noise of machinery drowned out all other sounds … except for the knocking-off hooter. Vinny always managed to hear that. Some said his … Continue reading

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Vinny’s Valentine

I don’t go for Valentine’s Day. I send the Her Indoors a card but it’s only because I bought job lot in 1989. Still, Valentine’s Day always reminds me of old Vinny. He’s in his 90s now and he spent … Continue reading

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#fridayflash The McPiesty Revolution

It’s clear that British politicians are just like the rest: arrogant, self-seeking, egocentric money-grabbing bastards of the first magnitude. It’s time for a change. To be successful, we need to dispense with certain tenets. The first is that politicians are … Continue reading

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Fun, Fun, Fun

Twittascope has hit the nail on the head again. I want to have fun this weekend because my flirty Gemini moon is in my pleasure house. So here’s my fun list for the coming days. I have a meeting with … Continue reading

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Birthday Wishes?

I’m 61 years old today. I’d forgotten about it but people appear determined to remind me. There are a string of messages on Facebook and one or two said, “have fun.”  Fun? To paraphrase Fawlty, “I remember that, but I … Continue reading

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Targeted Ads

How well targeted are Facebook Ads? not very well is my opinion. Alongside my newsfeed I spotted one selling products for people getting older. That’s me. I’m getting older. I know. I move the abacus on one bead every January. … Continue reading

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Flatcap’s New Year Philosophy

It’s January 2nd and ever since New Year’s Day became a public holiday (yes I do remember a time when it wasn’t) I’ve always regarded this as the official start of the New Year. January 1st is always taken up … Continue reading

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Flatcap’s New Year Greeting

New Year’s Eve and many traditions still hold: particularly getting rat-arsed. I realise that, at our time of life, it’s adolescent to come home fighting drunk in the early hours, wakening the neighbours and giving them verbal when they complain. … Continue reading

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