Well Meant but… Pass

I’ve just read this piece on the web of things you should avoid during sex. I was looking for “the wife” somewhere on the list, but it’s not there.

Amongst the obvious ones like farting or comparing the size of your man to the bloke over the street, there are some real howlers; Singing, praying and arguing about money amongst them.

What kind of women has this joker slept with? I knew girls who would pray for a crop failure after the guy had sowed the seeds, but that was AFTER, not during. And singing? How many men or women have you been with who have sufficient breath to burst into “oh what a beautiful morning,” while you’re having it away?

As for arguing about money, well I’ve known one or two who would argue for the money up front, but I’ve never yet asked Her Indoors what she spent last week’s housekeeping on while we were at it.

The star piece of advice on this nonsense is, don’t move your bowels while having sex. What?????? I’m no prude, but any woman who shits the bed while we’re at it, will be shown the door… after she’s done the laundry.


About Flatcap

Flatcap is in residence, tucked away in his corner of the public bar, where for the price of a brace of brown ales, he will treat you to his world-weary opinions on any and every subject you can think of and a good many you can't.
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2 Responses to Well Meant but… Pass

  1. Rebecca Emin says:

    *Snort* looking for “the wife”. ha ha

  2. Flatcap says:

    Thanks Rebecca.
    I’m glad somebody read this stuff … apart from me, that is.

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